Lizards and pelts

Ok, so the next few posts I have planned will not be in chronological order but that's all I can do these days. Also, please forgive any typos as I often type one-handed while Eason dines.

So, this past Friday I am nestled on our couch nursing Eason. Meanwhile, Murray (our Boykin spaniel) is incessently barking at the plantation shutters behind us in the dining room area. See, our cat, Aslan, is in the habit of bringing lizards into the house. Typically, the poor beasts are still alive when he brings them inside as a gift to us. This results in Murray barking at them and us trying to catch them to set them free. However, this was a particularly crafty lizard, who had found sanctuary behind the china cabinet everytime we attempted to catch him. Thus, Murray simply stood and barked in his general direction.
So, Eason's nursing, Murray's barking & Aslan enters through the cat/dog door with something in his mouth. As he walks past the couch I recognize that he is carrying the remains of a squirrel, the tail, pelt & some bones to be exact. I scream at the cat to drop it, which he does and then proceeds to look at me with this shocked expression, as if to say, "Do you not appreciate my gift to you?" All the yelling peaks Murray's curiosity enough to draw him away from the lizard. So, now I am threatening both animals with certain spankings if they get near that pile of squirrel, but I can't really do anything, because Eason is still nursing. Then, the doorbell rings (I am not making this up). It was the UPS man with a package he wouldn't just leave. So, here I am topless, animals going beserk and I have to interrupt my child from his meal, which did not make him happy. I throw on a shirt and answer the door to a way-to-cheerful UPS man, who continues to smile as I look at him and wonder if he can come remove the carnage from my house. But before I can speak, he gives me a "have a nice day" & flees back to his brown truck. I close the door, throw on plastic gloves, grab a dustpan & plastic bag, and remove the remains. Then I sprayed the floor with clorox, which my cat proceeded to lick and then roll in. Murray rreturned to barking at the lizard & after washing my gloves and hands thoroughly I returned Eason to his meal. Ah, a day in the life, "Calgon take me away!"